What’s your love life like? How do you build relationships when you never stop moving? Is it even possible?
My answer varies by the day. If I’m wrapped up in a beautiful new romance… or if my latest love has walked out of my life. Am I still hopeful? Or walking through my day with a heavy heart and bleak outlook?
It’s not easy.
But at the same time… it is so very simple.
I’ve been thinking a lot about love. What is it and why do we fight it so hard? We’re afraid to admit that we feel love or are deep in the midst of it. When it starts to fade, we cling to it like it’s the last droplet of water in the driest desert.
Is it not okay to love free of judgment? To fall without fear? To accept the end if it comes?
Love is stunning. And it is terrifying. It inspires. And it shatters. It can rule our lives. It can create our futures. It is absolute perfection. It is endlessly flawed.
Love is what we live for.
So what is my love life like?
Out here in the wild, you meet people who are in the same frame of mind as you – inspired by openness, exploration, self-discovery. Living and breathing a life of passion.
Connecting is easy.
But maintaining a connection? That’s hard.
It’s hard to stay connected with a lifestyle like this.
I’ve fallen several times. And every one of those experiences is a mark on my heart. A scar that tells a beautiful story. Because there is always beauty in love, even when it ends.
Here are a few of my stories of falling:
I remember the first time I laid eyes on him. I thought I was dreaming. When we kissed, it felt like the earth dropped out from beneath me. He was leaving that evening. I was afraid to tell him I wanted him to stay, because I think he would have. And when he left… I didn’t expect to hear from him again. I figured that’s how things work when you travel. But he sent me a message from the plane: “I don’t know what you’ve done to me”. And what I thought was the end of a short and sweet romance became the beginning of something else entirely.
It was like being struck. But in one of those clever, hard to find spots where you don’t know you have a concussion until a few days later when you realize that something is off. That’s what meeting him was like. Like a disruption in my cognition.
It was a new experience sitting next to this creative soul strumming his guitar and singing as the sun dipped lower in the sky. Once the cold set in, we grabbed a blanket and sat in each other’s arms and spoke about our lives, our experiences, our wishes, and our truths.
Maybe we shouldn’t have. Because sometimes the fall hurts so badly it’s hard to get back up again.
Was that it? A week of absolute connection… and I just drive away? The depth and intensity of our connection, chemistry, communication… It seemed too rare, and too right, and too once in a lifetime to not explore it.
But even in that moment as the distance grew by the minute, I knew that this man had already changed my life. And even if that was all it would ever be, I am a better person on this side of it. My heart is bigger. My mind is on fire. I am inspired.
The thing about distance is… it’s an easy problem to solve. So we did.
It was like taking in the first breath of air I’d had in ages. I had been drifting through this ocean of alone, overcome by waves of hopelessness, trying desperately to stay afloat. Because how many exceptional connections is one person allowed to have in their life?
And yet, here was this man. This reminder. That connections worth having will find their way into being.
There is some sort of energy that crackles between us. A kind of electricity that tickles my nerves when we are close. Words that dance like smoke in the fires of our gaze.
It is pure simplicity. And absolutely terrifying. Could it really be this easy?
Did you notice that all of those stories are only beginnings? Because the poetic romance of love often comes at the beginning. The next chapters in each tale detail an increasingly intricate web of unimaginable highs, and crushing lows. Love and hope and pain… and loss.
How can you tell the ending to a story that you are still living? The future remains unwritten.
Love rarely lasts forever. And that’s okay. Because the love that we have for ourselves is the most important love of all. The loves that are unconditional will always be there for us. From our family and our friends. Those are the loves that keeps us strong. That pick us up when we are down. That exist at the beginning and end of every day- regardless of what that day may bring. The romance is just the icing on the cake.
Maybe one day I’ll tell you the endings to these stories. But for now, I’m sitting here with a smile on my face. Basking in the beauty that is love, and appreciating every soul… every experience… every other emotion that it brings to our lives.
Love is alive and kicking, my friends.